Why am I attempting to blog?
Why am I attempting to blog???
I am filled with thoughts, and anecdotes, and stories and the belief...almost a deep seeded need to help and inspire others. Can my musings really help others? Ooh, that’s the powerful question that has been rattling around in my brain for weeks now. I sit here with two pages of possible blog topics, 2 fully written blogs and 4 in-the-works blogs in my notepad. The reason I haven’t put them out there...along with launching my ALMOST ready new website is fear.
I have been told that I am a daunting powerhouse. Fearless leader and entrepreneur. But just like everyone, I too have doubts. I don’t fear being “out there” and authentic. I don’t fear people thinking I’m hokey and that my “arts and crafts” methods of strategic brainstorming are ridiculous (I’ve already been through those two accusations and continued to thrive). It’s fear that I might hurt someone’s feelings or make them feel “less than” somehow, despite my core belief that I have many, if not all, of the same insecurities of others. And to a smaller degree, it’s my fear of not being liked...although I’ve been working on that using Brene’ Brown’s “art & craft-like” tool of writing the names of the people who’s opinion of you REALLY matter onto a 1” square of paper (because that’s all it truly takes).
And yet, here I sit. Knowing, that this is just something I’m supposed to do. And the saboteurs — those little gremlins who sit in the back of your mind and tell you you’re not good enough, nobody really wants to hear what you have to say, why would you put yourself out there for criticism and ridicule — are noisy little buggers trying to derail me. And I won’t be swayed. I am going to grow. Learn. Change. Become. I am going to be who God intends me to be. The true, authentic, messy, sometimes brilliant, sometimes funny, kind, loving, caring person...sharing a bit of my reality just in case...just in the small, possible case, that it might help someone else.
And speaking of God, this is another area of my life that has been developing and growing for many years now; thanks to several spiritual influencers on my life (Father Scott VanDerveer, Lisa West, Lorin Beller and Andy Stanley to name a few) and some events that were life altering (like the 52-day battle for her life my daughter had with appendicitis, and my coming face-to-face with some mean people I came to understand had at least a bit of true evil in them). Through all of this and, in hindsight, many other previously unnoticed events in my life, I have come to realize the constant presence of God. And I believe...deep down, that we are all meant to be disciples. That’s the true purpose of life. Will I be a crazy zealot? No, that’s not my style. But in my journaling, my blogging, my spoken words, I will not deny the presence of God as the truth and purpose of it all.
If this bothers you, perhaps that should be noticed and explored. If it REALLY bothers you, then my musings aren’t for you. Otherwise, I invite you wholeheartedly to join me in this ride of stories and anecdotes that I hope will bring a bit of humor, joy, and inspiration to your life. I welcome feedback or requests to discuss a particular topic...as long as they are kind.